One Day at a Time

Hello to my amazing supportive army. Tuesday was the big day of surgery, and big is a good way to describe it. The surgery removed 30+ lymph nodes (not the 5 I had in my mind) from the left side of my neck. Due to the previous surgery/scar as well as the size of the tumor the surgery took much longer than anticipated. The surgery lasted 5 ½ hours but was successful. Doctors feel very confident that they removed the tumor and lymph nodes in their entirety.  I stayed overnight at Huntsman Cancer Institute the night of my surgery and they treated me very well. The room was incredible, with an amazing view.  Nicer than some hotels I’ve stayed in. Even though it was extremely nice, I was happy to head to my parents to recoup.

I am staying at my parents until I feel comfortable on my own and have the pain under control. I have a drain in place so I think once that is out I will feel better being on my own. My family has been great through it all, adjusting to having me back in the house.

The pathology of the 30+ nodes will hopefully be complete within the week and I have an appointment with an oncologist on Wednesday to map out what the rest of my treatment will look like. Right now my doctor isn’t thinking that radiation is in the cards, but that immunotherapy will most likely be our best option. I will know more on Wednesday.

I won’t lie, the last few days have been extremely rough and emotionally taxing. I am very swollen and sore, and the drain is a very painful and a gross necessity. I think that all the stress and fear of the last 2 months finally set in when the reality of the pain sunk in.  The scar is very large, as you can see, so that will take some time to heal and get used to. Due to how “stuck” the tumor/node was and was entangled by nerves, I have some nerve damage that will hopefully diminish in the next few months. One of them being the nerve to my bottom lip. I look as though I just was at the dentist. They said that the nerve just needs time to recoup and will almost always return to normal – something I hope to be true.

Through it all I have been spoiled by love, energy, prayers, texts, emails, calls, gifts, food and flowers. All which have helped to keep my head up through it all. Not sure what I would do without all of you. My GoFundMe account reached the goal of $5000 and it is still rising. Just amazing to see everyone pull together for me, and it is so humbling to see people from all aspects of my life chip in and wish me good luck on this insane journey.

I will try my best to keep this updated.  I am nervous and anxious that this journey has begun but I am glad that the main step is behind me. On to the next step..

Love you all

Lex

At the edge of the next battle...

Tomorrow is the day. Tuesday February 24th to be exact. I have said those words so many times in the last two weeks that I didn’t really think they would actually be a real thing and actually arrive. But here I am, prepping to start this journey tomorrow. Tomorrow is when it all begins, where this next chapter in my life starts. 

How many people can say that they know the moment that things will all be different? It is a strange feeling. Tomorrow I go in for surgery to remove the remaining lymph nodes on the left side of my neck, anywhere from 20-60 of them. Metastatic Melanoma has struck one for sure and it has grown to be over 2cm around.. pretty much an inch. After two biopsies and endless feeling of it, it has started to be visable and has become tender. I feel my body is becoming aware of what is inside and is starting to do something… lets just hope that something isn’t to spread. 

For almost 6 weeks now I have known my cancer has returned and for the most part have suppressed any major meltdowns, given the handful of minor breakdowns. I have been called strong and brave more times than I can even understand and I don’t know if I would consider myself these things. I think I just am taking things one day at a time and just am doing what I have to so I can move on to the things I want to. I have somehow learned to focus on the big picture and try to not stress the smaller details so that a better result may come of it. I will say that I can’t shake the thought of the worst case scenario though, as much as I have tried to avoid it. For some reason my mind can block out many details of this whole situation but can’t block out that. 

As for tomorrow I am going to be taking it second by second. I will take with me the names of each and every person who has offered their love and support for me since letting them in on my journey. My army is giant and it is strong. It is because of them that I will get through this next step.. 

Now to attempt to sleep a bit before it all… 

Some random things…

Surgery this time is the EXACT day and date of my last one 6 years ago, Tuesday February 24th. 

The time 11:11 has haunted me these past few days

I had 2 deja vu’s in the past few days, and that is how I feel I am on the right path

I have ate more food in the past 5 weeks than anyone should. Can’t fight cancer hungry!

I am more worried about my back getting injured in surgery than I am about the actual procedure they are doing.. 

Here goes nothing… on to the next battle we go!