Hello, 2016

Happy Happy New Year!

Oh what a year it has been!

2015 brought some of the worst of things yet some of the best of things. My New Year’s resolution last year was “No Hospitals.” Welllllll, we all know how that worked out. I spent more time in the hospital – inpatient and out – than I ever have in my whole life. I know Huntsman like it’s a good friend’s house.  I have formed a hospital family with all the amazing nurses, PA’s, doctors and techs. I see them sometimes more than my good friends. I have become ok with being poked nonstop and my veins definitely aren’t fans of all this. I have met amazing people through this journey – and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Although cancer ruled everything this past year, it has also brought some of the most cherished moments of my life. I have seen the people in my life show up for me like I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams! My numerous fundraisers have consistently brought tears to my eyes of gratitude and happiness – still to this day.  It is amazing the love that I am surrounded by.  I celebrated my birthday in the most amazing way – and still shocked it was kept such a secret! I was able to travel multiple places when I felt good, knowing that I need to seize the moment more and live in the present; whether that is at my house, the hospital or on a beach somewhere. I made a decision early on this year that I can’t be mad and frustrated all the time about what is happening with me. I chose to be positive and fight with a smile because it takes just as much energy to be upset and angry as it does to be accepting and find the silver lining in things – which is sometimes hard to do. Know that I have my moments of sadness, frustration, anger and exhaustion, but I choose to not reside in those moments. I let them happen and then move forward. Do not stay in those emotions, but know that tears are necessary.  

2016 is going to be the year I beat this f’r once and for all. Know that I won’t stop fighting this battle and I won’t let it take my smile. My resolutions for this year: Be selfish, and be a murderer.  Never did I think those would be my hopes for the New Year – but I want to murder these tumors and this cancer. It’ll happen.

Thank you for following along in my journey, your support and love make things so much easier and I truly don’t know what I’d do without you all.

Happy New Year!