2 hard years down, still fighting

Well soon to be 8 years total. Today marks two years since I was told my cancer had returned with great aggression. I received a phone call and pulled to the side of the road, it was a Wednesday night around 6:30pm. I know exactly where I was and knew this isn't good. I cried so hard that night and many days to follow.

In those two years I have fought so hard. I have had two major surgeries. I have had more scans and tests and blood work that I can't even keep track. Numerous biopsies. I have tried all but one of the approved treatments for my cancer (outside of clinical trials.) I have lost my hair twice. I have lost, then gained and then lost 30+ pounds. I have spent many nights in the hospital. I have fought with insurance too many times, but luckily have always come out with them by my side. I have formed friendships through the hardest of times, us facing the hardest battles of our lives and have lost one too near and dear to my fight. This hasn't been a fight without dark times. I have lost my smile more than enough to be proud of. A good cry is necessary, you just can't stay there or else the cancer wins.

With all that I have endured, these two years have been great in their own right. I have strengthened friendships that will last a lifetime. I have traveled and explored all different places because, why not? I have moved into my own place and settling in. I got fish today. I have realized that my beauty isn't just in looks but that my internal strength shines through more than a glimmer of makeup. I have embraced the small dumb stuff because that's what makes me happy and makes the world what it is. I have learned that people are better than things and traditions are worth making. That a surprise coffee or treat to someone you care about will make you happier than a new outfit (that should be a given though). I learned to enjoy every meal because you never know when that exact meal will be so hard to eat and taste like absolute garbage (still working on this...) Enjoy that glass of champagne because it may be the only one you're allowed to have (stupid liver) for a good month or two. Hug people and tell them why you have them around cause you don't know what tomorrow brings for either of you.

I'm two years into the hard battle, and who knows how many more years I will be given to fight. All I know is that I will make the most of it all to the best of my ability - with lots of naps in between.

I appreciate you all being along for this crazy battle and fight and cheering me on each step of the way. Your love and support mean so much more to me than you'd know - and I can't say that enough. From every text message, surprise visit and the insane monetary and time donations you have given - I'm still in awe. I'm still in the fight and am glad you're with me.