LaterBlog: Portland

Oregon is amazing. Period. 

My friends and I love to travel together and when it started lining up that we could all make Portland work, we did just that and made a unforgettable vacation happen. 

Four of us flew in on Saturday and got our rental car and drove up to Cannon Beach on the Pacific. It was stunning. The ocean there is different than in California and has a sense of calm and peace. It's misty and intriguing and just beautiful. The towns up there are quaint and homey. Welcoming. We stayed the night in Seaside at a cute riverside condo, got some amazing strawberries on the roadside, grabbed dinner, had more laughs than we knew what to do with, watched Goonies, went to the Goonie house; just made some great memories. 

The next day we went to Multanomah Falls (since we couldn't remember the name we kept calling it Melanoma Falls) and it was beautiful. The girls walked up to the bridge; my body wasn't feeling up to the walk. Tyler and Spencer flew in that night and we had an eventful night grabbing dinner. An old friend we worked with lives up there now and met us for a drink and it was great to get a hug from him and catch up. We walked downtown, some interesting people watching for sure. The girls got some late night Voodoo donuts. "Keep Portland Weird" sign The staples. 

Monday I was lucky enough to meet up with my cousin who lives up there for brunch. We had a great time chatting about our late uncle and laughing about good times. It wasn't until later in the day that Facebook reminded me that it was my uncles birthday. What are the odds that I'd be in Portland (where he lived and passed), having brunch talking about him, on his birthday. Pretty awesome universe. We hit up Powell's books, some more donut places and then a really great happy hour in the city followed by some tasty ice cream. 

Tuesday was brunch and just random shopping around and then home. We were there for a good amount of time and I feel like I could have been there for another week and not have gotten bored - I would've gained some good weight with all the food, but not bored! 

This trip was so memorable and I don't think any of us have laughed that hard for a long time, even if there was a little help. It was so great to have almost all my best friends in one town for one amazing trip. I'm so glad that Ashley made it on her buddy pass, Brooke could get work off and that Megg and the boys let me jump on their already made plans. 

On my way to Cali...

Right now I am on a flight to California to spend the weekend with some long time friends. I have known one since I was 4 or 5. So let's just say it's our 30th anniversary of friendship trip! Pretty incredible when you think about it. Him and his wife saw that I wanted to go to Sea World/San Diego before my 35th birthday so they were kind enough to use their flight points to get me there and do hotel and car. Seriously so generous. We were supposed to go in October of last year, but surgery and treatment got in the way of that. This time we were able to plan a time quickly and I'm so thankful that cancer isn't getting in the way this time. I have my sun hats and sunscreen ready for all the adventures! I'm also so happy I have my appetite back AND have been cleared to have some adult beverages; or as my nurse said "you have some room in your liver for some alcohol!"  Thank you, liver! Champagne brunch just isn't as fun without the champagne! 

My best friend is going to try and come down for one of the days, as well as another good friend. Looks like a great weekend to be had! 

As I am sitting here on the flight (and as I was getting ready for travel, etc) I just keep thinking of how different things were just only a few months ago. I was in intense pain, couldn't sit in one spot for long, couldn't bend over to the ground, couldn't lift much; just so cautious of every movement. Now here I am, sitting for hours at a time, able to carry my carryon (and put it in the overhead bin!) able to grab my bag from the ground as well as baggage claim. Able to taste the drink I got on the plane. All while not being on any pain pills or patch. The body is an impressive thing I'll tell you. But I'd really like it if it would quit growing f'n tumors. Especially on my neck. 

My mind does wander on to think of what the next month will bring. None of it looks good; all of the options are hard. I'm thinking I will be having a surgery soon, but of course nothing is to planned on in this cancer road. Radiation. Damn radiation... a trial? Injections? Right now I have no idea. Won't know more until weds. I've gotten used to the waiting game. Doesn't mean it's easier, but at least I know that it's part of the game. Maybe game isn't the best description of it. It's something though. 

On my first flight today I sat by two lovely girls. We talked and joked about the conversation going on behind us (which was oh so entertaining!) and then I had to answer the question "so what do you do?" I've become use to the reaction I get when I say that I don't work right now and that I have cancer. I quickly follow up with something saying "but I do try and work when I can!" Or something that isn't so Debby downer. I don't want the pity eyes, and since I look healthier these days the pity look doesn't linger as long. You then gauge whether or not the ppl are comfortable with the subject or avoiding it. These girls were good and I could tell they were interested but didn't really know how to continue on. I brought it up later in the flight and we talked a bit and I got my PSA message in (or what feels like a PSA speech some days) but it's when you say "stage IV" or "it's in multiple organs" or "I had a feeding tube recently" that they are usually a little shocked. And that's when I realize how weird the cancer life is. Also how lucky I am to not look as sick as I truly am. All that said, it was a very enjoyable flight with these ladies. 

So, San Diego and fun here I come!On my 

Tumor/Airplane selfie

All things personal

Last post was all medical - this is all personal and fun things.

Since surgery I have felt very good overall which has been nice. I started to drive 12 days after surgery and that allowed me to be free to do what I like and go to the store and all those things. Went to a movie, went to my friends sons birthday party and did a wagon ride, dressed up for Halloween, went to the last summer farmers market at Wheeler Farm, took the boys (Ben and Jack) out trick or treating in my sisters neighborhood (which was really fun), turned 34, got the keys to my new place and have started to slowly move in.

Social Butterfly

My birthday usually is a big deal for me but with surgery and the whole no eating fat thing I kind of was a downer about it for a bit. I never realized how food centered a birthday is until I couldn't have anything fun! In the morning I met up with little Ruby, her mom Ali and her sister Jane for some acai bowls and healthier food. It was fun to be goofy with the girls and of course to see sweet Ali. You can read her blog here. Since I got the keys early (got them on the 1st and was planning on getting them on the 5th) I had some friends over to the empty place that night and just ordered pizza for them and such. It was a lot of fun to have everyone over to see it.

Look at this pretty cake my friends got me - even though I couldn't eat it until the next day. My wonderful friend Elise also went out of her way to make me a sans free birthday dessert - strawberry shortcake. It was delicious!

Since then I have been slowly moving things in and we have movers coming tomorrow to load up my storage unit. I'm a bit nervous to see what I have in there... some of the stuff has never been used so it will be like Christmas! I'm still deciding on what I am going to do with all my Sweet Janes stuff. I'm torn on it - want to keep it but also don't want to just store things to store things. I am also not sure I want to close that chapter all the way. We will see. I have until the 30th to have the storage unit completely cleaned out.

Besides moving I am going to try and do some fun things before life gets shaken up on the 10th. Not sure what, but definitely will do something each day not medical or moving.

One thing I want to acknowledge is that there is a saying that you never know your true friends until you have to ask them to help you move. Well, I am overly blessed in the true friend category. I have too many helpers! How is that possible? I sure do love my army.

LaterBlog: September 29-October 2

Three days doesn't seem like much but man did I cram a lot of stuff into those days!

September 29th was the Huntsman Cancer Institute Gala that I attended. I was invited by a friend of a good friend who works there. This is an annual gala hosted for Huntsman donors, staff and some patients. Afterwards there is a party for cancer patients, caregivers and family called "Take a Night Off of Cancer." I had attended the after party last year and had a great time. This year I was lucky to enjoy the program and dinner before, as well as look at the auction items. The one I wanted (two tickets to see the Ellen Degeneres Show) went for $4k+ so that didn't work haha! I will get there one day! In the program one of my doctors work was mentioned (Dr. Robert Andtbacka and his work to get TVEC approved) and he was in multiple pictures. I felt like a super fan the whole time! I didn't stay long at the afterparty this year but it was set up beautifully.

October 1st was a full day!
I started the day attending the AIM Melanoma Summit at Huntsman where both my oncologists (Grossmann and Andtbacka) spoke as well as some other doctors. There was also a patient panel that was very interesting and informative. I even scored a picture with my lovely doctors.

Owe these two a lot. Dr. Robert Andtbacka (left) and Dr. Kenneth Grossmann (right)

List of the drug approvals over the last 35 years... I've done all but 2 of these (Pembro and TVEC)

That night my sister, Tyler and I took a mini road trip to see the Spiral Jetty at the Great Salt Lake. We stopped on the way at a iconic drive in and then headed out to the Jetty. The roads weren't what we expected and weren't really fully paved but more a grated dirt road at times. Very crazy, and bumpy. When we got there it was almost sunset so we headed down to the Jetty and were told to walk to the water as it was beautiful and worth seeing. Growing up near the Great Salt Lake we would go on field trips as a kid and all I remember is how stinky and gross it was. Not the case at this part of the lake. It was amazing. We were basically walking on inches and inches of packed salt that looked like an ice rink and you felt like it should crack beneath you but it didn't budge! Once we got to the water we were amazed to see it was pink. Yes - pink! I asked if this is where unicorns live because it is that unbelievable. The pictures don't do it justice. On top of just being cool and beautiful it was sunset so we got the best of everything. Can't believe it has taken me so long to make the trek out there!

Spiral Jetty

Both trying to get a good panoramic picture, circling one another

Salt Flats

Nope, not ugly.

Crazy wind hair (and expression)

Pink Water

Tylers jump picture

October 2: High Tea and Dinner with Friends
I went to high tea with a close friend and that sure was fun! It makes you feel so fancy. It was a good time chatting and catching up while eating finger sandwiches and drinking tasty tea. I'd love to go back with some of my friends little girls and just watch them enjoy every second of it!
That night I went to Tylers where he cooked a delicious meal for me and two friends. He sure spoils me! Homemade rolls and everything. There was an awesome thunder and lighting storm that night too and he lives on the top floor of his building so we had a great view of it thrashing around. Very cool.

High Tea at the Grand America

It was a full and fun weekend .. sure love my people.

Brain and Liver Update

I can't believe I didn't do a blog on this already... I'm a bit scatter brained lately. Guess we can pretend it is the brain tumor but after finding out it is SMALLER it is not as likely. Yes, it is smaller! In one month it went from 6mm to 5mm. This is very good because it wasn't thought that the meds would reach my brain lesion so to have it shrink in a month is impressive. My doctor was shocked it had shrank so much without radiation. That said, we are still pursuing the SRS radiation. The hope is to do it after my surgery is done and I have healed a bit. Hopefully in the next month.

My liver is down even more as well! Both are only 10-20 points about the average numbers. It was a good appointment for sure. They are having me stop the meds (as of two days ago) to see if the numbers continue to stay down. I will find out tomorrow (or the next day) whether or not they are still down. If they are still down then I can stay off of the CellCept (liver med) and just monitor the levels.

I really like when appointments have only good news in them, I could get used to that!