Radiation - DONE

I can officially say I am done with radiation - 20 treatments done. I can't even explain the relief I have that I am done with them because they were so hard. The level of damage they did to me is up there with biochemo and that isn't easy.

Radiation has done such a number on me and landed me in the hospital last weekend once again. I woke up the morning after my second chemo just feeling awful. I actually threw up my feeding tube (not pleasant in the slightest) so I had to get that replaced while I was at radiation and my energy was so low that I knew I was dehydrated. I asked to get fluids and while they were working me up to see about fluids I spiked a giant fever, 104. Fever = admitted for two days. We weren't sure of the source for the fever as it could be multiple things such as lingering infection from the week before, the new bone med they gave me or the burn I had gotten from radiation. They also did a CT of my face/neck that showed I had a blood clot in my vein in my neck that is caused from radiation. It isn't the same as a clot that causes strokes or goes to your brain or such, but that my body will take care of it with the help of blood thinners twice a day. When it comes down to it we decided it was the burn that was causing the fever.

My artsy hospital shot

My burn is from radiation and is behind my ear. It was a giant blister that burst and then just is not good. The rest of my neck is burned now as well, but not to that extent. I have been keeping a close eye on it and treating it. It is good radiation is done because I don't think my skin could take more. It is all tanned and burned and starting to peel. The inside skin of my ear is burned as well. Just a lot going on for a body that is already weak.

My Radiation Completion Certificate, Mask and Flowers

Just some real feelings is all.. 

Little look at radiation prep

I did finish another chemo and felt really good that day and the day before. I truly think most of my side effects are from the radiation with just a bit from the chemo. They reduced my dose for one of the chemo drugs and I think that should help with my numbers dropping so low. I am laying low though just to be safe and not risk anything, and to let my body have a break from things and not land in the hospital again. While I was at chemo Intermountain Therapy Animals came and visited and I got to snuggle this sweet dog Luna for a bit. It was so sweet to just have her lay her head on me (something the owner says she doesn't do with people, that I was special haha) Hope that I see her again next time.

Luna

While I was in the hospital over the weekend my dear friends came in and decorated my house for Christmas with my tree and some decorations. They also did my picture wall and cleaned. My picture wall probably wouldn't get done for weeks because it takes a lot to do.. and there is a lot of pictures. They did a really good job and I was so surprised to walk in to a tidy and decorated house.

My elf deliveries continued as well - and man do they not disappoint! Today was the last and giant one and a bunch of people pulled together and got me the couch I had been looking at since moving. I have said it before but this time it's proven - my army is amazing! And sneaky! My couch makes it feel like a home finally and I can have people over and not be stressed about where they will sit. Now I have enough room for two people to crash if needed and that is helpful to know in case I need someone to stay with me overnight.

6th day

7th day

8th day (delivered secretly to the hospital even

9th day

10th day

11th day

12th and final day! And you can see part of the picture wall 

I am eager to heal from radiation and hopefully get some energy back and start feeling better day by day. I plan on staying low key for the next week and hope that will help with things. I have been better at asking for help from friends on things like laundry and food and random things. Takes a lot for me to do so, but I know it is necessary.

My booster Tshirt campaign ended as well and it was so successful! Over 80 shirts ordered! Can't wait to get them. Thank you for all who donated and purchased.

Next up is scans on December 16th so here is hoping that things show improvement and that the treatment is doing what it is supposed to.

Miles for Melanoma

Miles for Melanoma Salt Lake City was on September 10^th and it was a lot of fun! Team #melafreakinoma was the largest (I think we had 53 people before the day of, more joined there!) and raised the most money, just under $4k. Pretty impressive. Lots of sunhats and sunscreen, we even had a small sunscreen sponsor – Naawk. It is a local sunscreen company and my friends contacted them and they sent over a bunch of sunscreens and chap sticks. Pretty great! My team was awesome and one of us even won the race by running it in just under 18 minutes. He’s crazy and a machine. I also met some people from Bristol- Myer Squib. BMS is the company that gifted me my meds after insurance denied it. Amazing gift. I talked to the local rep for the company and he took a picture of us. I introduced him to little Ruby and her mom as well. Bringing awareness to all the people involved.

After the walk we headed to Urban Farm and Feed for breakfast which was super tasty and low key.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t overwhelmed that day. It is a lot to handle when you have a lot of people in one place all for you. I feel like I don’t get to talk and spend as much time with them as I’d like. I’m pretty spoiled to say that I am overwhelmed because I have too much support – but some days that’s how I feel. There are worse problems to have!

I want to thank everyone who helped make the day what it was. Hope that the money raised that day will help go towards some groundbreaking drug research. 

 

They came from Ogden for me!

My MSS Sisters

Can't sleep...

It is 1:53 am and I can't sleep. Some of it is that I can't get comfortable with my dang neck nerves firing like crazy but most of it is thinking about random things. The main thing I keep thinking about is the Rally for Ruby in the morning. And just Ruby and her family in general. I just keep thinking how can she possibly have the same thing as me. How is it that she is so full of life yet inside her little body is a beast attacking. It just doesn't seem real, especially since she doesn't show any signs of being sick - even with treatment she hasn't had any side effects. She is truly a fighter and doesn't deserve the things she is forced to deal with. Me, I'm 33 and can understand what cards I've been dealt. I can understand, even though I'd rather not, the scary reality of what this diagnosis carries. I know the statistics. I don't want the statistics to apply to sweet innocent 3 year old Ruby. I don't want her to have to understand all of this. I want her to miraculously beat this f'r and grow up to be a sassy teenager that will give her sweet amazing parents a run for their money. I want so many things for this amazing girl. So so many things.

Back to the Rally. . . I know how much it meant to me to see my family, friends and community come together to support me time and time again and I just want that same feeling to go to the Thackeray family. I want tomorrow to be something that they remember forever as one of the many positive things to come out of an extremely negative situation. I want the memory of this day to pop in their head and bring tears of joy to their eyes like the thought of my birthday fundraiser party does. The thought of "is this real life?" Or "all of this for me/us?!." These are the memories that get me through rough patches and I just want this amazing family to have the same thing.

I know tomorrow will be incredible and full of love and support - as well as making a good amount of money. I've done my best to rally donations and do my small part to make it a better and hopefully more successful day. I know I'm not the only one rallying. There are close to 300 silent auction items - that speaks volumes.

I can't wait to basically have a mini high school reunion tomorrow and feel the love and support that will be in the air. I can't wait to hug Ali, just not to long of a hug cause we know what happens then. Tears. I'll take a short hug over no hug :)

Now to try and fall asleep. Hopefully writing this out will clear some space in my brain and allow me to get some sleep.

Good night #teamLex and #teamThack

Gofundme.com/rallyruby
Facebook.com/rallyruby
Thacksmack.blogspot.com