32

Today is my 33rd birthday. I love birthdays, unlike some people. I love having a reason to celebrate and a reason to get my friends all together.
I always look back on the past year and try and find the highest points and also the lowest, and try to take away some good things to continue on with for the next year. 32 was rough. Some may even say it was bad or horrible. But there was also a lot of good things too. Late November last year is when I got the call saying there was a large lymph node in my neck and that I needed to get it checked. That is when my second melanoma journey started. I followed up that phone call with a CT scan and then a biopsy. And then surgery, then chemo, then this current treatment. Definitely a trying year. Definitely a medical year! I spent 14 nights in the hospital. Received over $750K in treatment/medical, so far (thank heavens for insurance!!) I've had some of my toughest/sickest days of my life this year, and know what it really means to not feel good. I've formed a medical family with my doctors and nurses - I see them more than some of my family! I met my cancer soul sister Mandy, someone who I can't explain the closeness we have since we are in the same boat. I hate to see her struggle, but happy to offer her some comfort in the battle.  I have been poked far more than any other year and know what veins are good and what aren't... I have become an expert on melanoma and explaining my current situation. All these things, although could be bad, make up who I am today in this very moment.
During this last year I also realized the love and support I have surrounding me. My friends and family really showed up and it helped me get through some of my toughest days. From amazing fundraising campaigns that have helped support me for almost a year as well as the numerous gifts, food and care packages. Constantly checking in on me through texts, emails and calls. Truly making me feel loved.
I have shorter hair than I ever imagined I would have, and I actually like it. I have learned to look around and be happy for the little things - things I definitely overlooked before this year. I have lost 40lbs (not the way I would want to, but still) and hope to lose more this coming year, get more healthy. I wore skinny jeans for the first time! I have traveled with some great friends to some amazing and relaxing places. I watched my friend get married and look happier than I have ever seen her. I have watched my best friends babies grow and steal my heart one smile and giggle at a time. Life has been good. It wasn't a bad year, it was a trying year and a growing year.
33 looks good going forward - besides 33 sounds like a lucky number and I'll make it prove it. Here's to a great year!